5 am – Day 3

I feel the same, more or likely, the usual, self-explanatory, disturbingly drowsy and fearfully awake. It rained today, it didn’t clean my fears and trauma, it made it worse. I’ve realised that as days pass, I’m losing my senses, losing the meaning to find a smile, to breathe. I’m losing all that I’ve managed to develop for years, for ages. 
Grim as it may sound, and I’ve explained this before, I no longer feel the need to live. It’s not only the trauma and internal maim, but I’ve lost my purpose. I’m only counting days to lose my sanity fully and relinquish the position of life. 
© Aniket More

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